Happy New Year!
I usually feel a little apprehensive at the start of a new year. I ordinarily feel sad to say goodbye to the end of one year and get all caught up reminiscing. But this year I was excited to welcome a new year. 2017 wasn't a bad year at all. We had amazing adventures, enjoyed a lot more family time together and watched our children grow in both height and spunk! And so although it was a good year, I was excited to welcome a fresh start and chance to set some intentions and goals for the coming year.
But instead of listing a full set of resolutions, last year we started doing the "Word of the year" thing, but chose the word for each other. I chose "Play" for Pete, and he chose "Start" for me. Pete definitely did a wonderful job of "playing" more in 2017. He spent more time enjoying time with the kids, played more sport and had a lighter spirit outside of the office. Did I "start" in 2017? I did. I started. I started on a creative business pursuit, started managing a situation that I have been ignoring for a while and started a new hobby. But, the trouble is, I didn't go much further than just starting. Which brings me to my new word for 2018.
We had a chat on New Years Eve about what word we wanted to focus on for this coming year and we joked that mine should be "re-start". But my actual word for the year is going to be "Reclaim".
There are many layers to this word, some of which I won't go into for fear of putting you into a dangerous deep sleep, but the main theme of "reclaim" is the desire to get back to a version of myself that I have been missing. I never felt so confident as the day I became a mother. Of course there were times that I actually didn't know what was wrong with my little girl, but instinctively I knew that I was the best thing she ever needed and had so much faith in my ability to care for her.
Things changed however when I was pregnant again. We had a hard time falling pregnant the second time, and then had a very stressful pregnancy and newborn phase. This anxiety and stress had an extremely detrimental impact on my confidence, which, two years on, still hasn't fully returned. So, this year its time to RECLAIM my confidence, my spark, my positive self-chat. I am very aware of a little set of “big ears” that are watching and listening, and at this very impressionable age I want to make sure my daughter is watching and listening to a strong and confident woman.
So while I am busy "reclaiming" in 2018, Pete will be busy "segmenting". The main goal behind his word, is for Pete to continue the overall work/life balance that he developed in 2017, but now on a day to day level to focus on keeping work out of his mind when he's not actually there. Understandably, it is difficult to forget about stresses just because you aren't physically in one place, and so it is going to be Pete’s challenge to switch off more when he doesn’t need to switched on. Hopefully this will mean that when he has to take conference calls when we are on holidays, he can take that one work hour, segment it, and spend the rest of the day enjoying family time and being relaxed. A challenge indeed, but I know he's up for it.
Within the scope of "reclaiming", the desire to write again has bubbled up within me. I haven't had time for typing out blog posts these past few years, but I have been writing them in my mind the entire time, and I want to get some of these thoughts out. Part of me is worried what people will think when they read my words, or that nobody will read them at all; but in the spirit of reclaiming some confidence, I will hit “post” proudly and nestle back into a place I used to love.
So, here I am, rusty and anxious, trawling back through thousands of photos from last year, hoping that through writing, I will start to find my voice again and maybe one day, my spark!
Wishing you a very happy 2018.